My Last Last Day

Today was my last last day of school.  For a while, anyway.  I think.

I've been writing this post in my head for a long time.  It's a long one, so brace yourselves.  I'm a map out your life forever kind of gal, not a go with the wind kind of person.  I have a wonderful life.  A really, really, aren't you lucky girl kind of life.  I just have a little too much of it.

When we adopted this sweet doggy girl in October, I joked with my husband that she needed a home mom.

This off the cuff joke started a few whisperings in my heart of, What if?  What if I did stay home?  What would that look like?  How would it change our family?  Our marriage?  Over this year, I've prayed for signs.  I had little whisperings in my heart.  I'm just not that good at listening to them, so I naively prayed for God to hit me over the head with a sign.

Turns out getting knocked in the head can hurt.  If you are not going to take the time to listen and instead are looking for clear as a bell signs from above, be prepared for a few concussions.  Every time I started doubting this decision,  God clearly reminded me of why it was the right one.  And it wasn't always pretty.

While I knew where my heart was leading, I struggled with the idea of staying home.  God was supposed to make the current life I had planned out easier, not change it.  The nerve.  I had a long list of reasons.  Here are just a few:

1.  Um, that's a lot of money to give up.

2.  I really, really love my job.  I love teaching.  I love being with kids.  I love creating lessons.  I love teaching those lessons.

3.  I didn't stay home with my kids when they were younger, so I don't "deserve" to stay at home with them now.

4.  I am perfectly capable of working, so there is no reason I shouldn't.

5.  I prayed long and hard for this job when we moved four years ago.  How can I give it up now?

6.  I'm a wimp and need to toughen up.  A lot of people have lives a million times more stressful than mine, and they make it work.

But, in the end, I decided to take a leap and just do it.  Every decision does not have to be a forever decision, a novel concept for me.  My husband travels a ton now for work, and we need to make some breathing room and add some flexibility in our lives.  This is a way to do that.  In a way that is the complete opposite of my OCD, plan out the rest of your life nature, I'm just going with it.  No long term plan.  No I will go back on this date, after this much time.  For now, I'm rolling with it.  Which is crazy because I am not a roll with kind of gal.  I'm trying it out though, and it feels okay.
                                                                       Source: Uploaded by user via Megan on Pinterest


So, what happens with this blog?

I don't know.  Remember, I'm rolling with it.  I'll figure it out along the way.  I do know that I will be subbing next year.  That will fill my "I love kids and teaching" fix.  Plus, it helps with the oh my gosh we're down a salary freak out.  Also, no one should be sitting alone in their house alone all day long.

I'll keep designing blogs and other things which I love doing and will have more time for now.   I have a my little Etsy shop.  And, I don't know.  I have learned this year that if you fill up your life too much, there's no room for God to surprise you.  I'm sure that I'll end up right back in the classroom at some point.  I'll just have to see what happens along the way.  Yikes.


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31 comments

  1. I wish you the best of luck! If you need subbing stuff, let me know :)

    Journey Of A Substitute Teacher

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  2. I know I don't really know you in person, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck and much happiness! It isn't easy to follow and do what is right for you at a certain time. It can be so hard and frustrating and want you to know that I admire your courage! Please continue to share your awesome ideas and thoughts...you help the rest of us so much!!!

    Bethany
    Ship Shape First Grade

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  3. I am so happy that you are going to get this opportunity in your life.

    Let me know if you plan on traveling across the interstate to sub. If so, I'll put you on my preferred sub list for next year.

    Kristin
    Teachntex

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  4. Good for you Megan! I completely understand that those "leaps" are terrifying but sometimes you just have to see what happens. Makes life more interesting ;o) I'm so happy for you that you have this opportunity and I will still get to see/hear from you through the blogging design world. Good luck on your next adventure!

    Sabra
    Teaching with a Touch of Twang

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  5. Awww! I'm so happy for you! What a great opportunity! I am not at all surprised by this! You are just so talented and so sweet, I'm sure that God definitely has something up His sleeve for you and it will all come together. Change is hard. I have caught myself thinking about a change, too, but I'm not able to take that leap right now since our income and insurance depends on me. But one day, when I know that time has come, I hope I can make that leap as gracefully as you are.

    I'm glad for you that you get to do this! It's like a new start!! How fun!! (just ignore the nerves and scary part of that and enjoy the freedom!) ;O)

    Happy for you!
    Amanda
    Collaboration Cuties

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  6. My mom used to tell young moms that staying home when they were little was nice, but they really needed you in middle school and high school. So true! Everything will work out the way it is supposed to be:). And I think taking a leap of faith like this is amazing and brave! Good for you:)

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  7. What an amazing thing you are doing. It takes a lot of courage to do that, but knowing you through your blog and your help to other bloggers (especially to me)...you have it under control and as planned out as you can. When God is telling you things, you have to listen. I wish you the best of luck!!!!!!

    Tracey
    Third Grade All Stars

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  8. Good for you! I think it's wonderful you are following your bliss and doing what you think is best for your family.

    NotJustChild'sPlay

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  9. What an exciting time for you! Good for you for doing what you know the Lord is leading you to do.

    Hunter's Tales from Teaching

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  10. I am so happy for you! It is brave, scary and exciting all at the same time! I wish you the best of luck!

    Tonya
    Tonya’s Treats for Teachers

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  11. Awww, what a special road ahead! I've toyed with the same idea and I think I'm right where God needs me to be for now, but who knows what tomorrow may hold. I admire your courage and faith.

    Jessica
    Teach on a Limb

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  12. Oh, Megan, I am so happy for you! Sounds like you listened to all the right voices. I am not sure how old your children are, but my oldest is heading off to college in a few months....how I wish I could have enjoyed his senior year without the stress of working. I stayed home with them when they were little. Sometimes I think they need a less stressed out mom when they are older just as much. Making a decision with family in your heart is always the best way to go! Good luck....I look forward to witnessing your new journey!
    Lisa

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  13. Remember that God's the One who places these desires in our hearts in the first place. Take that leap of faith, God will plan everything else out! I am excited to see what God has in store for you! A big hug to you, my friend!

    Amy Howbert
    Little Miss Organized
    amyhowbert1@gmail.com

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  14. You are an amazing woman who will be a success in anything you put your mind to. And if you encounter temporary madness, please know that you always have a friend near by to help! I'm losing my partner, but you will always be my friend.

    (((HUGS)))
    Diane
    Teaching With Moxie

    p.s. Your post is perfect!

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  15. What an exciting time for you! Just know that God is in control and will put you where you need to be. Best wishes! : )

    Yeehaw! Teaching in Texas

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  16. It sounds like you have thoroughly thought this through and it seems to be the best decision for you right now! Best of luck to you! :)

    -Allison
    Adventures in Room 204

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  17. A new adventure...how exciting! I certainly hope you keep up the blogging. Even though you won't be in the classroom, you've got so many wonderful things to share!

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  18. Wow Megan, what a big decision! I am so happy that you are able to take this opportunity to stay home. I'm not all that good at listening sometimes either. Good luck and thanks for sharing your journey!

    ~Jessica
    Fun in PreK-1

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  19. Good for you! You're right, it's not a forever decision...but it's the right one for you and your family right now.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, and I completely understand the concussion analogy. When trying to decide whether or not to sell our condo, I received several concussions...still reeling from the last one. Yikes.

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  20. Good luck Megan! You are completely fantastic and I know you will enjoy whatever you choose to do and do it well! Being a stay at home doggy mommy is a super important job. At least that's what I'm telling myself since that's pretty much all I'm doing this summer. :)
    Katie
    I Want to be a Super Teacher

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  21. Best of luck. I quoted your blog name this week! I was working with a teacher who was experiencing a low moment and this worked to lift them and get them back on track - see you made an impact in Australia!
    Paula
    Paula’s Place and iSURF Maths

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  22. I wish you the best of Luck. I love your picture of a leap of faith. Sometimes God's plans are not our own but the surprise waiting at the end is always worth it.

    Misty
    Think, Wonder, & Teach

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  23. Good luck with your new venture! It can be scary, but I think it will be great for your family. Prayers are with you as you adjust!

    Don't Let the Teacher Stay Up Late

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  24. I am new to your blog and am a little sad that you will not be teaching next year but it is great that you will be subbing. You could give us some great ideas for subs when they come into our classrooms. I would love some ways to organize and get ready for them especially when you least expect it and you have no time to go back into the classroom and prepare for your sub plans. Anyway, sorry for rambling one. I am a new follower and can't wait to see what God has in store for you. Take Care.
    Tammy

    Mrs. Flickinger's Butterfly Oasis

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  25. Dear Megan, I have been reading your blog for nearly a year now. I have always found something useful, uplifting, humorous, or relatable. I wish you well in your "sabbatical". I hope you continue writing for us.
    Sincerely,
    Cynthia

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  26. Just wanted to encourage you- God is faithful. Trust him and see what he's got it store for you!
    :)
    Karli
    Creating a Thoughtful Classroom

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  27. There are other places to go and things to do...keep looking! I found something and I don't regret it. Good Luck to you!
    Carolyn
    carolyn41free@yahoo.com

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  28. Change is good and helps us grow--I'm happy for you!

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  29. Oh my goodness, Megan!!! I just came across this post! I could totally relate to your post about planning out your life kind of gal. I resist change too and like to stick to a plan. The "what ifs" terrify me. I am SO happy for you and the decision you made! You are so sweet and talented and God has a plan for you!! We all need to be reminded to trust in Him!
    ~Holly
    Fourth Grade Flipper

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